I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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