the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
