someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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