there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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