I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
