Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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