he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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