if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
