i already hear my dad disowning me
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
