So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
