When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize