sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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