did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
