Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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