Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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