and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize