I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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