I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
