He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
