sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
