He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
