Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize