i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize