Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
