Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
