somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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