Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We got so high we made milksteak
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
