Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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