Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
