Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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