We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
