So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
