She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you would pick up someone in the library
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
