Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
