Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm at about main and main street
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I will pee on everything he values.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
