Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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