I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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