i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
