Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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