Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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