So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
