If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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