Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My feet surprised me
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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