i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
The Olympian is in my bed
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