Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
