I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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