Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
