I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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