Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
