We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize