We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
