What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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