It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
