omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Mom said you looked used
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
