I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
only you would photoshop your dick
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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