are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
