I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
