It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
