Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
