Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
