Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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