google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
