everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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