Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize