He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
