benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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