My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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