im having a threesome with these popsicles
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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