Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
