I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
