Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
