I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize