So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
