he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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