If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
