It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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