Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
