I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
