He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
