would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
