I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize